The Struggle Sleigh is Real: Trading Holiday Hustle for Family Hugs
This has always been my favorite time of year, ever since I was a child! I love seeing houses and shops decked out in holiday lights and Christmas trees. I love Christmas carols, parties and gifts, both giving and receiving. But I have to admit that this year, the holiday season has had me on the struggle sleigh a LOT. I feel worn out coming to the end of this very packed year, and capping it off with the busiest time of year - well, sometimes it can be a lot.
But the calendar isn’t the only culprit in this holiday chaos. I have to be honest - the truth is I’m doing this to myself.
My to-do list is VERY long, not unlike the naughty and nice list, but without any magical abilities to fly through it. I’m often so busy doing, that I’m not busy being present and loving to the people around me, who are usually my family. And this adds guilt to the equation, because I know the moments are fleeting when my kids will come to me for help or just to talk, but I’m often too tired or worried about what’s not happening to enjoy it.
So what to do?
I have some ideas that could help. I put them together in a free guide for families with kids at home.
The Hustle to Hug Holiday Guide: Turning Chaos into Connection
The idea is to reframe the activities you’re already doing to include your kids in intentional ways and spend meaningful time with them. It only takes a few minutes a day to create some real connection moments!
My over-achiever self is happy that the to-do list is still getting done, even if not always as efficiently, but I don't have to feel guilty about missing the moments with the family. Because what’s the point of the lights and the tinsel and the food and the gifts if not to enjoy them with the people you love?
If you, like me, have a case of the More-Is-Mores, then this guide is for you. I’m using it too to reframe my mindset. To allow for intentional interruptions, asking for (and receiving) some help, and letting myself slow down. It’s not easy for this Type A person, but I’m trying.
Here’s are a couple of examples of a simple shift to encourage more hugs than hustle.
Trade "Cooking" for "Creation"
The kitchen is the heart of the home, but often we treat meal prep like a solo performance under pressure. Shift the focus from a perfect plate or just getting something on the table as quickly as possible to a shared process.
The Intentional Interruption: When a child asks, "Can I help?" don't say, "Not right now, I'm busy." Say, "Yes! What job would you like: Chief Measurer, Official Stirrer, or Taste Tester?" Likewise if no one is offering to help, call in your sous chef to help and give them one of these important jobs!
Family Recipe Story Time: While cooking or baking together, share the origin story of the recipe—who in the family passed it down? What memories do you have associated with it? If this is a new recipe you’re trying for the first time, talk about who in the family you think will like it. This grounds the activity in legacy and connection.
Transform "Tidying Up" into "Together Time"
Cleaning and organizing can feel relentless during the holidays. Use this time not just to clear clutter, but to clear space for conversation.
The "Two-Minute Tidy Challenge": Put on a favorite holiday song and race the clock to clean a designated area. The shared goal (and silly dance moves) make it fun.
Toy/Clutter Consultation: Before putting away toys or decorative items, ask your child for their opinion: "Should this stay out, or should we put it away to make room for something new?" This not only involves them in the decision but is a gentle way to prepare for post-holiday purging and charitable giving.
It’s easy to put so much pressure on ourselves that we lose sight of the forest for the trees. We forget that Christmas is about love - about God sending his only son to Earth for each one of us. How we reflect that love back to our families is much more important than sending out the holiday cards (hopefully) before Christmas. Wishing each one of you joy, and may your holiday season be filled with more connection than commotion.