Why I’m Leaving My Laptop Behind

I am currently preparing for a trip of a lifetime to Tanzania. My bags are packed, the itinerary is set, and I am preparing to step out into a space where phone signals and Wi-Fi will be spotty at best.

But there is one specific item that will be staying firmly on my desk while I am away: my laptop.

If I am being completely, brutally honest, this choice brings me a massive amount of angst. For those of us who run ministries, manage businesses, or carry the weight of keeping a household running, our devices have become an extension of our own hands. We fall into a subtle, dangerous trap: we start to believe that if we aren’t constantly monitoring, checking, and fixing, everything will fall apart.

That piece of technology can give us a dangerous illusion of control. Packing a bag without it feels a little like jumping from an airplane without a parachute.

The Spiritual Discipline of "Holy Departure"

I’ve been praying through this anxiety, and I’ve realized that stepping away like this isn’t just a vacation—it is a spiritual discipline. It is an act of surrender.

By choosing to be "off the grid," I am making a physical declaration to God. I am saying: “Lord, I trust You with my work. I trust You with the backend tech of this ministry. And most importantly, I trust You to protect and hold my family while I am across the world.”

True rest requires trust. There is a story about Pope St. John the 23rd that I often come back to when I feel my anxiety rising. Before he would go to bed each night, he would pray, “Lord, it’s your church. I’m going to bed!”

If I take my laptop with me, I’m not actually resting; I’m just changing my location while keeping my anxiety on life support.

Setting Boundaries for Connection

I know how easy it is to slide into "autopilot living." We can be physically present at the dinner table or on a walk, but emotionally, we are a million miles away, more often than not tethered to a screen. Leaving the laptop behind is my way of shutting the door on that distraction.

I want to be fully present for what God has in store for me in Africa. I want deep, uninterrupted connection with Him, and deep, uninterrupted connection with my husband. To get that, I have to leave the noise behind.

What is your "Laptop"?

While I am away, I want to leave you with a question: What is the ‘laptop’ in your life right now?

What is the one thing you are holding onto—a habit, a responsibility, a worry—because you’re secretly afraid to trust God with it? I dare you to find one small way to unplug and surrender control this week. You might be surprised at how much peace you find when you finally let go of the keyboard.

I’ve shared more about this journey of surrender and the "laptop trap" in my latest video. You can watch it below:

I’ll see you all in July with a full heart. In the meantime, I’d love to hear how you are practicing surrender in your own life—leave a comment below!